Silent Sunday

Happy Dog

One large baked beef marrowbone presented to Toki this evening.  He was so excited he shook!  He's been in the garden for 20 minutes now munching on this and there's no sign of him wanting to come in.  This must be the equivalent of a five year old being given the biggest ice-cream ever!

Rundown Days

I often get people asking me how I cope with having four kids, house to run, church things, commuting to work, working outside the home, fitting in a social life, doing shopping, etc and sometimes the answer is quite simple.  I don't always cope.  I get days where I'm so utterly exhausted I don't know what to do with myself.  Sometimes it's not physical exhaustion, but mental meltdown from having to shuffle so much information, remember who has to be where and when, who needs what, what needs to be paid to whom, how much they want, when do they want it by, what form needs to be handed in, who needs what sports kit today, who's at after school club, who needs picking up, who's walking home, what's for dinner, what e-mails are more urgent, has that staff member got their pay rise, has the translation for this letter been received, has this manager got enough money to pay that contractor, what time is it in Kirkee so I can speak to a technical manager on tour about something, have I filled in the information on this database, have I returned medical certificates to regional offices because they're written in Arabic and I can't understand a word that's written, what time am I leaving work today, is there enough petrol in the car, do I have a babysitter for tonight, is the washing done, has the dog been walked, have the pets been fed, are the clothes on the kids bedroom floor there because they're dirty or are the kids too lazy to put them away, have I replied to that birthday invitation one of them brought home yesterday, have I read my Bible today, have I prayed today ........

Life.  Just plain ordinary busy hectic life.  But some days it gets too much and I wake up feeling totally overwhelmed.  Headaches start, I get short tempered and snarky with the people around me I love and they take the brunt of my vain attempts to do it all under my own strength, despite me having a wonderful husband who does so much to help and often tells me to stop worrying about things.  So, today I'm off work, because I'm feeling a bit grotty and run down.  But instead of vegging in front of the television I've decided to use some time to be a Mary, rather than a Martha and I'm already feeling a little uplifted.  I'll be blogging more on My Martha, My Mary over the next few days as I really feel that God has given me a good talking to over the last couple of weeks and I'm starting to find my balance.

Silent Sunday

Expectation and Fulfillment

Andy told me earlier this week he was going to a Desktop Virtualisation Seminar. To the IT geeks out there I presume this is something to get excited about. He loves all things tecchie. I'm pretty hopeless in that department and as long as something can be turned on, used and turned off again, I'm happy. I won't even begin to try and understand what this seminar is about. 

I had visions of him being stuck in a stuffy airless room, surrounded by technonerds all speaking in trainspotter voices, rapidly blinking as they manually downloaded the information to their brains.  I felt a bit sorry for him.

Until he sent these pictures to my e-mail account at work.  Venue:  Kensington Rooftop Gardens.  Complete with four flamingoes named Bill, Ben, Splosh and Pecks.  He hasn't mentioned the seminar at all, but he's enjoying the surroundings.  It's just a shame the sun isn't shining more for him as it looks a beautiful place.







When I was pondering my expectations of his day out of the office, my thoughts were brought to Hebrews 11v40.  When God's faithful people of the Old Testament stood firm in their hope and faith that He would fulfill his promises of something better, they lived in expectation that God would send their saviour.  In the New Testament Paul speaks to the Hebrew Christians exorting the fact that what they have received is the fulfilment of those promises in the form of Jesus Christ which is so much better than the unfilled covenant of their forefathers. 

So expectation of something good is one thing, but receiving it is quite another.

Grasping independence

My eldest son, Joshua, 12, is a smart kid.  Having gone online last week and wheeled and dealed his way around the Internet finding a mobile phone contract deal that would undercut the current ones I held for him and his sister, he managed to find a way of getting them both a brand new smart phone each that had all the gadgets they desired, for less than I was currently spending each month.  Having previously told him that an upgrade was out of the question as I was not prepared to spend more money, I found myself having to concede to his request as he quite rightly pointed out my fears were unfounded and that I'd actually make a saving.

As a parent I could have reacted two ways.  One is that I could have got angry that he continued to pursue something I'd originally said no to and punished him.  Or, as I chose, I could have held back and allowed him to rise to the challenge and make his own discoveries.

I'm glad I did.  With his perseverance and for being sensible, gathering the facts in, making sure the tariffs were correct, working out Internet bolt ons, researching through the current provider what his current text and talk usages were, he could compare differing offers and make an informed choice about which level of contract would suit him.  He wasn't greedy, he didn't demand extra applications and he even made sure he stayed with the same network so calls between family remained free of charge.

The money issue itself was not my main concern.  My children know we have limited budgets for some things, tight budgets for others, miracles in waiting for some things and variable budgets for others.  We've tried over the years to be honest with them about money and spending and to search for good deals, not to be tempted into impulse buying, not to be sucked into the latest craze and to analyse whether they'll really use something. So to see my son actively and quite naturally using these criteria for obtaining something he desired was wonderful to see.  It showed me he's growing up wisely, that he's thinking things through analytically before making decisions and it's confirming to me that he is listening to us when we try to advise him.  As a parent it's uplifting to see your child make wise decisions, not just because a yes or no option has been put before them, but because they've taken an idea and developed it.

There are times he does things for me because I don't understand how to use them, or he explains how something is made or how it works.  Usually with a big cheeky smile on his face and a roll of the eyes because my level of ability is at 'muppet' level.  There are a lot of times he's just the boy he is, but I'm confident that as he grows, and as time goes on, I'll have to let go a little more each time and allow him to take hold of opportunities.  This week it was just a mobile phone, but it won't be long before those choices become more complex and he'll be able to take life with both hands and get the best value out of it he can.

Oh, and their phones arrived yesterday.

What if ...?

So much of life is full of what ifs?  Usually coupled with regret and missed opportunity, leaving us swimming in a soup of disillusion and peering ahead with little hope for the supposedly great thing we missed.  I try not to have too many what ifs now.  Well, not backward, hopeless ones, but more forward thinking, opportunistic ones.  I suppose it could be viewed as risk taking rather than optimistic what iffing.  So, where's the harm in a little risk taking?  Does taking risks expose you as a flippant, nonchalant and spontaneous person with little regard for responsibility and consequence, or does it generate an inner core of you that expels great confidence, hope and trust in those things to come?

I often think about why people just don't believe in Jesus and His resurrection.  Look at all the cuckoo crazy stuff some people are passionate about.  Diversity awareness and acceptance of all modern quirks and idiosyncrasies are drummed into us, so why are people so cautious and sceptical about God, Jesus and all things in the Bible?  What are people REALLY afraid of?  I'd like to think the real reason they're hesitant or dismissive is that they have the little what ifs floating around their head.  What if people think I'm a loony believing in somebody that you can't see?  What if evolution is the source and destructive force of the Earth?  What's the point in me believing I'm going somewhere better if there's nowhere else?  What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm beyond saving?  What if I fail and muck things up?  What if my family disown me or my friends tease me?   So, here's my limited take on a sample of little, but obstructive what ifs that people have posed to me over the years when they've questioned my faith.

What if God really does exist?  What if we're so restricted in our intelligence that we simply just can't comprehend the notion of omnipresence?  When new species are found, we see them and accept they were always there, so why is the barrier of sight and proof so prevalent amongst us?  What makes some of us blind to Him, and what opens the eyes of others?

What if God really did create man and woman?  Scientists can now grow body parts from stem cells.  We know they can do it.  They can create a whole out of a part.  So what stops us believing that God created a whole man from the parts of the world He'd already created before that?  Who's to say that the vital components of a human being weren't already part of creation and that God just put them together?

What if Eve was really tempted and really did eat of the fruit and there really was a serpent possessed by Satan?  If we're taking a risk on believing in God here and God is love, it stands that we have to accept the presence of an oppositional force - evil.  How is that evil represented?  If good and love are represented in the form of a being, then evil must be too.  We know that good and evil exist. Doesn't it stand to reason that at the first sight of something good, evil will try to find a way in?  We see Satan at the beginning of the Bible, he doesn't wait around before having a go.  In the same way now, Satan uses deceit and lies to deceive people into believing God isn't real.  Isn't it strange that Satan's existence itself is invisible, yet people are ready to believe someone can be possessed by Him, yet struggle to believe and accept that somebody can have the spirit of God living in them? 

What if God did part the Red Sea and lead his people out of slavery?  If God made the sea, then He surely has the power to rule its tides, motion and current.  If He can suspend Sun in space and orbit planets perfectly around it, then holding a bit of sea back is not too difficult.  We've seen the devastation of a tsunami.  We know the sea can draw back on itself and then surge.  So why is it hard to believe that God drew the sea back in order to save His people?

I could go on forever with my what ifs.  So really what I'm saying is to look closely at the reasons many people struggle to accept the presence and love of Christ and to delve into what's REALLY holding them back.  All too often there is an answer and one that's simpler than we thought.

Silent Sunday

School Holidays

School holidays are a great time for catching up with special friends who still live nearby but who have moved to different schools.

They're a great time for finally getting rid of stabilisers and learning to ride on two wheels. 

Even if you do fall off sometimes.

They're a great time for taking the dog to the park.

 
And just enjoying time away from the day to day hectic run of life.

Further Thoughts On Giving

Further to my earlier thoughts here, about giving, I'm thrilled to see in the national papers today, many articles relating to general happiness of people in the UK and how it is sorely lacking, mainly due to our self obsessed culture.  Articles that are encouraging us to give a little more of ourselves to other people, either by attitude or action.  When we first think about 'giving', our minds and thoughts automatically turn to money and the fact we don't have enough to give away, or why should we give what's ours to others?  But giving is SO much more than that.

How much?:  Deuteronomy 16:17 - Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you.

Who to?:  Proverbs 3:27 - Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

Attitude?:  Deuteronomy 15:10 - Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.

Who needs to know?:  Matthew 6:3-4 - But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.  (In other words, you don't need to brag about it).

For some months I have been acting on a scheme I found on a Christian website.  It's called the 10 Day Give and encourages us to not only consider others, but to make a conscious effort to actually act upon practically doing something to make that person's day better.  There is no need to be outwardly public with what you do, there is no need to restrict it to anything monetary, just the willingness to think outside your own busy life and act in a way to brighten up the day of somebody else.

The scheme was restricted to ten days, but I have tried over the past few months, to stop concerning myself with me and to start concerning myself with somebody else.

• If you're a lady you could compliment another female co-worker if you like something she's wearing. (I mention ladies as this is not really a blokey thing)
• If you're a Manager, take time to go up personally to thank somebody for the work they've done, don't send an impersonal e-mail and certainly don't take the credit for their work. 
• Offer your neighbours a cup of tea and invite them in for a chat if you see them outside. 
• Let the person behind with just a few items go before you at the checkout.
• Bring cakes into work for your colleagues to share. 
• Go out of your comfort zone.  Apologise to somebody if you know you've done them wrong, you know who to - even if time has worn away your courage and it means a little bit of egg on your face - you may find you get a better reception than you think. 
• Contact an old friend if you've allowed distance and life to separate you both. 
• If you're not comfortable with children, offer to babysit, you might find you enjoy it and the parents would appreciate the break. 
• If you're healthy, find out where the next blood donor session is near you and get down there - it only takes 30 minutes. 

The possibilities to give are endless.  They cost  nothing and take up so little time, but can so very often be the difference between someone else having a good day or a bad day.  Isn't it great to know that you have the power and ability to put a smile on somebody's face?

Free Coffee?

Check the link below.  Watch the video and then imagine that woman is Jesus, handing out His love and forgiveness.  Then think about whether you've walked on by, either suspicious it's a trap, don't have time, allergic (in that it's likely to make you uncomfortable) or just simply ignored it.  Or, like some of the people, have you graciously accepted it, said thank you and walked away with your cup full?

Then, consider, if that were Jesus standing there, have you made Him happy by accepting, or made Him feel a little more miserable because your perception of his gift is warped?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8445786/Britons-becoming-increasingly-miserable-warns-Action-for-Happiness-campaign.html

Anniversary

 12th APRIL 1997

St Mary's Church

Maidenhead

followed by reception at

Bell House Hotel

Beaconsfield

That was the day I married the man who was to become my best friend, the man who I trust most above all others and the man I simple love and adore.

Joshua

Expecting your first child is globally not a unique situation.  Every mother's been there.  But when it's your own child and your own body that's growing this little person, and it's your pregnancy test that has that magic blue line, you feel like the only person on the planet experiencing this life changing force.  I remember referring every day to my book, 'What To Expect When You're Expecting', eagerly scanning the pages to see how my baby was developing and whether he or she had grown to the size of a grape or an apple.  I would stand at the mirror and turn sideways waiting for that little bulge to form into a neat round ball, testament to the world that yes, I was expecting a baby and not just putting on a bit of weight.

I recall the immense tiredness of the first few weeks - absolute exhaustion.  I would come home from work and fall asleep on the sofa, only to be woken by my husband who'd arrived home an hour later, had left me sleeping and prepared dinner for us both. I'd eat and then sleep again.  I have never known a tiredness like it. 

Then the first scan.  That life changing moment when you see your baby on the screen.  It seems a blur of lines, then the sonographer points arrows and shows you legs, arms, eyes, nose and best of all, a tiny beating heart.  Then you hear it.  The whoosing sound like an ocean and then the 'bwoph, bwoph, bwoph' sound of your child living inside you - that God breathed life that's been gently placed there as a gift, all neatly tucked away.

Then your clothes don't fit anymore and the realisation that now it's time to go shopping for maternity wear.  Big enormous trousers that could fit around a space hopper and skirts like scout tents.

Alternate weeks with the midwife and doctor.  Being prodded and poked.  Blood tests being taken.  All to make sure your baby is well and growing.  Finding out your baby's head is half way down or two thirds down, or it's popped up again, now it's down again, and finally 'engaged'.  This is it.  Not long to go.

The final few weeks.  You've had enough now.  Surely it's ready to be born.  You can't sleep, you can't turn over, you can't bend down to do your shoes up, getting out of the bath requires assistance, you can't pull your chair close to your desk at work because your bump is in the way and you can't get back in the car at the supermarket because somebody has parked too close to the driver's door and you're too big to get in the gap. 

You're excited, you're scared.  You know it's coming soon.  You know it's going to hurt.  You've visited the hospital and seen all the contraptions and checked with the nurses they're well stocked with pethidine, entonox and anaesthetists.  The nursery is ready, tiny nappies wait unopened in their packet, grandparents have stocked you up with hand knitted cardigans, the pram is in the hall and your hospital bag is packed.

* * *

 
Joshua was born 7 days early.  An 8 hour water pool labour that was halted because he was face up, stuck and distressed.  I also had maternal exhaustion and the increased effort of trying to deliver him was sending me into a delirous unconsciousness.  I gave it all I had and it wasn't enough.  He needed help to get out and was swiftly delivered by ventouse.  A beautiful baby, 7lb 7oz.

Joshua, is 12 years old today.  A remarkable young lad who is growing up to be an exceptional young man.  He's doing very well at school and has lots of nice friends.  He's learning each day more and more about who he is and who God wants him to be.  I love him immensely and I'm incredibly proud of him and of all things most, I thank God, that of all the women in the world He could have given Joshua to, He gave him to me.

Japan

When I see pictures like this I marvel at our planet.  I am in awe at its beauty.  I see the creation of God before me.  A world that once, for a short time, He was well pleased with.  We happily accept the creation of a loving God because we enjoy it. 

We ski in the mountains He formed, we walk along riverbanks decorated with flowers and blossom trees He renews each year.  We swim in the sea and then run out to play in the sand, taking delight in the fun where two days of His creation merge.  The creation of His world is beyond our comprehension and we happily live in it.

When I see pictures like this I marvel at our planet.  I am in awe at its destruction.  I see the creation of God devastated.  A world that is slowly crumbling away, a world He mourns for.  We cry and feel helpless when we see the creation of God so cruelly destroyed.  Yet, when the planet is beautiful and working the way we want, we are happy to acknowledge His ownership of its beginnings.

However, when destruction occurs, God is the first to be blamed, even by atheists.  Suddenly, His presence becomes more of a reality and a likelihood.  Nature loses its authority. 

We can't call God up on the mobile and invite him for a newsroom interview to question Him.  We can't put Him on trial for allowing nature to do what nature does, when nature does what we don't like.  All we can do is put our trust in Him that He has all this in hand.  We have to trust that there is an answer to the unanswerable and that one day we will understand.  Until that time, I will keep on trusting God that throughout this devastation, His plan is continuing and I hold on to hope of an eternity where Jesus will return to take me to a new place, one more wonderful and beautiful than I can ever begin to imagine.  A world where there will be no more earthquakes, no tsunamis, no war, no famine, no heartbreak and no mourning.

Until that time, while I try to comprehend myself why this has happened and I pray for the people who have lost loved ones, who have lost homes and livelihoods and who now have to face water and food shortages, I will also continue to praise God for his mercy and grace and thank Him that people did survive.  I will praise Him and thank Him that in the midst of all this destruction a lone 60 year old man was found nine miles out to sea floating on his roof, still alive.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. (Psalm 46:1-3)