Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Love in a box

Around this time each year I have a huge clear out of my children's bedrooms.  I go through old clothes to see if they still fit, put some in a charity bag, throw out broken toys and put battered books into the paper recycling.  Maddie's outgrown clothes go into Eleanor's side of the wardrobe, items Joshua hasn't worn out go in a box for Sam or get passed to friends.  DVDs and CDs they've matured from are given away and generally loads of clutter is binned.

I do it to create room for the new wave of presents that are coming next month. 

But, you see, a clean tidy room, that holds a lovely comfy bed with a soft warm pillow and cosy duvet upon which sit various cuddly toys and under which there are more toys, situated next to a set of drawers containing far more clothes than the need, makes me more than aware of just how rich my children are.

Not just in the material sense, but because of the great provision our God has given us as a family.  Andy and I are always panicking around this time of month whether our money will make it through to pay day and miraculously it does and miraculously we are constantly blessed with food, clothes and all the general trappings of having a pretty good life.  All because He loves us.

So this year, I wanted the children to appreciate just how much they have. 

After explaining to them that millions of children around the world wouldn't actually have a Christmas like them, I asked whether they wanted to do a shoebox.  I asked them how they would feel if on Christmas morning they only had a shoebox to open.  What would they want to find in there? What would make them really happy?  So, armed with the list of gift ideas suggested, the children were determined to put in items they knew a child their age would enjoy.  They didn't automatically choose rubbish or just chuck something in the basket because it was cheap.  They took time and care to select things.  Eleanor sniffed soaps to see which one smelt the nicest.  Maddie chose the cutest little beanie toys she could find.  Joshua made efforts to find a writing pad that wasn't girlie and a beanie toy that wasn't cute, but slightly boyish.  Samuel didn't come shopping but he did express an insistence that sweets should be included.

I'm proud of them.  Not once did they ask for anything for themselves and not once did they moan it wasn't fair that somebody else was getting something and not them. 


Our only sadness was that it was restricted to a shoebox.  But mulling this over I was struck with a thought.  Do you recall years ago your parents would put all the family photographs in a shoebox?  Their cherished and most precious memories all packed up in a little cardboard box.

And this is exactly the vessel that's been chosen to light up a child's life next month.

It's wonderful the love you can pack in a box.


Thursday, 12 November 2009

Diversity

I work in a job where I deal with many different people throughout the day - usually by telephone as the staff I'm responsible for work overseas. It's a daily occurrence to ring my colleagues in India, to e-mail the office in Nairobi, send some money to the man in Sri Lanka and make sure the man in Iran orders his new uniform each winter. In Israel the staff are a mixture of Arab Christians, Muslims, modern men and the odd Bedouin. They're a varied group and we get along well. But dealing with them has so much complexity attached. In Israel we can only locally employ a Christian Arab on our administrative staff. If we employ a Jew, the Muslim staff will not be happy and they will not deal directly with them. In Jakarta if we employ Christians they are in danger. In India the managers speak and write fluent English, but some of the gardeners are illiterate. It's not unusual for us to send translated documents to them that have to be read out and to then receive their acknowledgement of receipt back in the form of a fingerprint.

In Northern India, a very tribal and at times hostile environment, the managers are much more in tune with modern thinking. To them I'm Karen. In the south the Regional Manager is quite westernised and to him I'm Karen too. To the other managers my salutations range from Respected Madam to Mrs Karen. Similarly, I respect their salutation preferences and they range from first name basis to being addressed as Mr ....x.... Again, in Northern India, tribal dominance is incredibly important. In the areas we operate the powerful Angami tribe are influential in all areas of business. Anyone employed in the region must belong to this tribe or one approved and on good relations with them, such as the Lotha tribe. All men who work there must have Naga citizenship. If we advertise outside their region such as Delhi, Kolkata, Madras or Kirkee, we must state they should have a Nagaland work permit - to omit this would be foolish and ignorant on our part. It is their culture and their heritage and we have to respect that.

In Japan our manager is learning English. It's a standing joke in the office that when he calls he addresses our colleague Hilary as 'Hairy'. But in our laughter we respect the fact that his English is far superior to our Japanese. Sometimes on the phone it's great to hear him and Hairy laughing over some of the items he's written on his accounts.

In Cannakale our manager is a French guy. We've never quite worked out why he applied to work there - but he's loving it. The staff have welcomed him with open arms and he's making welcome changes to the way they work. We have a Welshman in Israel overseeing Arabs, Christians and Muslims. Last year I retired our man in Singapore who returned to his native home in Malaysia.

In Nairobi, our office administrator has had to take days off work due to local riots along the main road she takes to the office. I ring her occasionally, just to see how she's doing. Sometimes, again due to language barrier we can spend quite a while sorting out accounts as we can't always understand each other. In Gaza we keep a special eye on our men out there when hostilities rise up. At times we've had to pay them salaries months in advance due to blocks on currencies imposed by the government. Last year we sighed sighs of relief when the bomb that landed in the cemetery didn't harm anyone. We marvelled at the humanity of their neighbouring colleagues in Israel who clubbed together to buy sweets for the children and supplies for their colleagues and arranged for the Defence Attaché to take stuff across the border for them as they knew times were hard. Their nations were at war - they weren't.

With my job I feel very privileged. I feel honoured to be able to participate in the lives of so many people across the world who experience different faiths, whose skins are all different colours, who speak various languages (some of them four or five even!) Some who can read and write, some who can't. Some who are single and some who have ten or more children. Some who live in relative luxury, others who report to us that their mud hut home has been washed away in the monsoon. We have staff who are young and fit and others who are getting elderly and not so fit.

In the office we have two men in wheelchairs. One who has never walked - one who has succumbed to the ravages of MS. They're not treated any differently. When the non-smoking ban was introduced, one of them had to wheel himself outside in the cold and rain just like his walking colleagues - he didn't expect to be treated any differently. But in this, we're still mindful that when the lift only has room for one more, he gets to go in it and us lazy lot have to take the stairs.

I remember a few years back at work going on a Diversity course and the woman running it had wild hair with streaks of purple running through it. Dressed like a warlock and really rather zany. Imagine somebody like that running a course encouraging everyone to accept each other and engage with one another when the directorship is made up of over 400 combined years of civil servitude that has generated from the origins of a military set up!

But I digress. On this course we discussed issues such as race, religion, gender, sexuality, tattoos, body piercing etc and we were shown a series of images. From these images we had to say whether we thought the person was nice, friendly, warm, hostile, criminal etc. Then the images were enlarged to show the whole picture. The one that stuck with me most was a picture of a fierce, huge bald man with tattoos all over him looking menacingly at the camera. To me he looked like a naked Hell's Angel. On panning the picture out he was cradling a newborn baby in his arms. How wrong was I?!

At church we're just entering a series on Diversity. I missed the first one but I'm looking forward to the rest. I'll be honest when I first heard what the series was - I sighed and thought, oh for goodness sake, it's rammed down our throats by the media, we're constantly told to be pc about this and that, I'm faced with thinking about it every day at work, the children have it stuffed in their faces about fairness, bullying, don't pack nuts in lunch items - I don't need five weeks of this.

But I do.

It's not right for me to be complacent about it just because I work in an environment where it's normal to deal with different people. I shouldn't look for a cosy escape outside the office. I worship in a church that has all manner of people and each one, created by God, LOVED by God and cherished by Him. Is it too much to ask that I stand in line with my black friends, take time to talk to the blind couple as they can't seek me out, to stand in front of my deaf friend so she can read my lips, to rejoice in the numerous multi-cultural marriages? I love it when my white English friend turns up to church wearing a Ghanian outfit, sharing the cultural dress of his wife. I adore seeing the little girl in church with Down's Syndrome eagerly tottering her way to creche along with all her other knee high friends, holding her Daddy's hand all the way. Then I feel bad that I haven't even bothered to find out her name.

It's fantastic. So I stand humbled now and a little ashamed that I had a grumble and I look forward to hearing more about how I can be open to change, to grow in my love for people different to me, to break down my barriers of ignorance and be a part of a united church just as Jesus intended it to be.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

School stuff

Maddie is learning about the Aztecs this half term. Last night she came home with the dreadful homework grid, but she was elated. On it was a task to make something with chocolate.

14 cook books later, Maddie found her recipe.
Chocolate terrine. I've never known a kid so keen to do homework.

Eleanor on the other hand, was elated for another reason. Today the children in her year are having a pyjama day. The idea of hauling herself out of bed and not bothering to get dressed was pure joy for her. But it wasn't until we'd packed her dressing gown and slippers, put on her coat and shoes and were heading out the door that she announced chuckling her little heart out that, 'Oh Mummy, I've forgotten my knickers - hope my jammy bottoms don't fall down!!'

A quick pack of the missing pants and we hot-tailed it to school breakfast club so she could change.

Joshua however, grunted when I asked what his topic was this term. 'Dunno, but my new teacher is nice'.

So, day one of the new half term is over.
How long till Christmas?

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Pint sized devotions

I popped into Quench yesterday during my lunch break. I love it in there. Ever since it was taken over and the art shop at the front entrance was 'relocated', it is evident from the front window it's a Christian bookshop.

And so it should be evident. If John Lewis, Waitrose, Monsoon and all the other retail outlets can stick a huge great big sign above their door, why can't a Christian Bookshop? And changing the name from St. Andrew's Bookshop to Quench was a smart move too. More modern and 'with it'.

Anyway, I digress. My initial purpose was to buy myself my next round of study guides. Bought with a renewed vigor and intent to actually knuckle down and do them. Finding time for daily devotions is hard for me, I get distracted, side-tracked, bogged down with day to day life and before I know it, it's 11.00pm and I'm done in. Andy wants to study with me too, so my dilemma was then at a fork in the road - do I buy just one study for us to do together, or two, one for me to do solitary as it's MY time with God as well. I opted for the latter.

Then I felt the children needed something, so into the basket goes Discover and Jesus and Me. Thinking they could share copies I only bought one of each. I got home and there was moaning, so out today to buy more. I was tempted to photocopy them, but I was prodded with the copyright conscience.

I desperately want my children to get into the habit of reading their Bibles and enjoying them, but I know they also need me there to guide them. With working, having the house to run, meals to cook ......... and homework assignments to assist with, I'm getting stretched thinner and thinner and I fear my elastic band is about to break. But this is important, so please pray for me that I find the time and patience to sit with them and help them with this.

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Random Thoughts

Just wondering.

1. Why do mothers always suck their child's dummy when it's dropped on the floor, stick it back in the child's mouth and then go home and sterilise the bottles?

2. If you live in Poland you're a Pole, so if you live in Holland, why aren't you a Hole?

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Baking Days

When you're stuck at work, totally bogged under with accounts, feeling a bit cheesed off at having to work a few long days during half term, it's nice to get pictures e-mailed of what the children have been doing.

Today, they're home with Andy. It's not often he gets a day alone with them, so time together, having fun, is the order of the day.

Fun today = baking.

Sunday, 25 October 2009

Forgotten Summer Photos

I remembered today that I said a while back I'd post pictures of our family holiday. We went to Weymouth for a week with our very special friends Michelle, Katie, Ben and Michaela.

We took numerous photos, but this is just a selection of the ones we took at the beach.

This was on Carnival Day. A beach front spectacle, starting with the plane and wing-walker.


Crabbing, which we'd never done before, but the children loved doing. Each little crab had his own name but was lovingly returned to the sea.

The air-sea rescue demonstration.

My beautiful daughter, Madeleine.

My other beautiful daughter, Eleanor. The day was just too much for her and she actually fell asleep like this. I had just enough time to take the photo before she toppled sideways!

Joshua digging a hole to bury himself in. The temptation at times just to give him a little shove.....!!

No visit to the beach is complete without ice-cream.

Sisters in the sand.

Friday, 16 October 2009

The Channel Divide - Day 4

The chocolate theme carried on last night for Maddie, but this time with Andy. Hot chocolate fudge sauce cake with lashings of fresh cream, and for Eleanor a big chocolate muffin.

Yesterday the girls finally admitted to missing Joshua with Eleanor declaring she'd give him a big hug when he got back and Maddie echoing the sentiment. His last full day in France was yesterday and as I write, he'll have probably just arrived back in England after what looks to have been an absolutely fantastic trip. I know he'll be worn out, tired and hungry, but full of information about his time away. I can't wait for him to get back.

Here's yesterday's events.

Thursday 15th October 10.45pm

Today started off with a visit to Dieppe where we were immersed in the French language, identifying French shop signs, before going to a Creperie where we had to order, eat and pay for a delicious crepe (all in French of course!!)

We then had a quick lunch stop back at the Chateau before heading off to the Neufchatel cheese farm. We all learnt about the cheese making process (all in French!!) before having the opportunity to taste some freshly made cheese and buy some to bring home (let's hope that the coach doesn't smell too much on the way home!)

Our first evening activity was either fencing or the climbing wall which everyone enjoyed a lot.
Now onto dinner......yes, Thursday night is snails and frogs legs night! Needless to say, there was plenty left over after the tasting! We then had a main course of pasta bolognaise followed by a cheese plate and chocolate eclairs.

After dinner it was time to party on down at the disco! There were lots of impressive moves on the dance floor (which we have photographic evidence of!) and also some not quite impressive moves (again, photographic evidence available....!!)

We are going to miss the Chateau (and France!) when we leave tomorrow but we are also looking forward to coming home to see everyone.

IMPORTANT UPDATE
We will be catching a slightly later Eurostar train tomorrow (to give us a bit longer at the market in the morning) and we estimate that we will arrive back at *********** at approximately 4pm.

See you tomorrow!! Au revoir!

Thursday, 15 October 2009

Underwater Tricks

It wasn't until this morning that I realised Eleanor had no idea of the distance between us and Joshua at the moment as she posed this.

'Mummy, Joshua went to France on a train that goes under the sea. Did he hold his breath?'

I couldn't do anything else but hug her!

The Channel Divide - Day 3

Wednesday night was declared 'Hot Chocolate' night. I didn't realise until a friend pointed out to me that this week was Chocolate Week. Had I known that I'd have started this all on Monday and got maximum mileage out of the celebration!

So, supplies were gathered in for the ultimate hot chocolate sensation. Squirty cream, mini marshmallows, hundreds and thousands, chocolate chips and toffee sauce. This was going to be goooood!!!


Pour in the hot chocolate, load on the toppings, be careful not to let it topple!



A quick lick of the lips, wring of the hands and we're ready to dive in!


YUM YUM YUM!

Meanwhile, across the Channel, Joshua had also been busy.....

Wednesday 14th October 8.50pm

Today we went to Rouen which involved lots of walking but also lots of exciting sightseeing! We explored and learnt about the Notre Dame Cathedral (not the Paris one!!), learnt the story of Joan of Arc and saw where she had been burnt at the stake, ate lunch in the park and went shopping!

When we got back to the Chateau, we had some free time. Some of us played football and made some French friends whilst others had some chill out time in the dorms (well maybe not quite so chilled out....!). Then it was time for our group activities which were either archery or climbing wall.

Food tonight was mixed cold vegetables to start followed by fish and rice. We then had a cheese plate and an apple pastry for dessert. Evening activity tonight is team tech which involves lots of thinking (oh dear!!!!!!).

We think the late nights and long days may be beginning to catch up with us, however we are determined to carry on having lots of fun and new adventures!!

The Channel Divide - Day 2

Eagerly logging on Tuesday night to find out what Joshua had been up to I was pleased to see the teachers had taken time out of their really busy day to update us Mums and Dads on what the children had been doing. Sounds like they're having a great time.
At this point I wasn't missing him too much. I knew he'd arrived safely and I knew he was having fun with his friends. I could relax.
Having one less at home does afford the opportunity to spend a little more time with the other children. This week, Maddie and I have declared that each evening we should have a girlie treat, of the chocolate variety, before she goes to bed.

Tonight was chocolate fondue night. I usually avoid doing this kind of messy stuff before bed, but with the cunning use of a tealight, metal pie dish and a peg, we mustered up our own mini-fondue and tucked into melted chocolate, maderia cake cubes, marshmallows and apple chunks.


We're going to introduce Joshua to this when he's back - he'd love it. And whilst we were enjoying this little luxury here's what he got up to on day 2.

Tuesday 13th October 9pm

Another busy day in France! Breakfast was at 7.45 this morning after what turned out to be a late night with 28 excited children deciding that they didn't actually want to go to sleep (quote 'we stopped talking at 3.20am....!!). We have had a great day out visiting the WW1 underground tunnels at Arras followed by walking through the German and Allied trenches at Vimy Ridge. We then went to a very impressive memorial monument, also at Vimy Ridge.

When we arrived back at the Chateau we headed straight down to the beach with some frisbees, giant jenga, a basketball and a rugby ball. These were surplus to requirements though as the children just wanted to build stone trenches!! At least they have been inspired!

Dinner tonight was carrot salad for starters followed by pork meatloaf and beans. Dessert was a cheese plate and yoghurt and after all of that we even managed to save some room for Will's birthday cake!

The final activity for today is either archery or fencing. Hopefully bedtime tonight will be earlier than last night as we have a full day out tomorrow exploring Rouen!

The Channel Divide - Day 1

Joshua's in France this week and I'm missing him. But the pangs of separation are being dampered by the fact the teachers are putting a daily update on the school web page to keep parents informed of the day to day activities the children are undertaking. It will be great to see the pictures he has taken to accompany the round up of each day's events. I last saw him 8.30am Monday morning. By evening this is what he'd done.

Monday 12th October 9.30pm

We are here!! As you can probably tell from the delay in updating this page, we have had a very busy start to our trip! The journey went well with lots of excitement whilst travelling through the tunnel and even more excitement when we realised we had reached France (quote 'I love France now' and 'I can even smell France!')

We had a great stop off at Nausicaa Sea Centre, touching stingrays, seeing the sharks close up, watching the penguins being fed and laughing at the sealions playing!

The journey on to the Chateau seemed very long (quote 'are we there yet' and 'how long until we get there' over and over and over and over......!!)

We finally arrived at the Chateau at about 6.30pm and after the initial excitment of seeing the dorms and playing some field games it was dinner time. On the menu tonight was cheese pie for starter, sausage with cabbage and potato for the main course followed by yoghurt and fruit for dessert.

The final end to the day has been mini olympics in the sports hall.

Everyone is very tired but still excited and looking forward to what tomorrow may bring!

Monday, 12 October 2009

The Long Weekend

Joshua has probably spent the longest weekend of his life these past two days. Because when you're 10 years old and going to France for a week with your schoolfriends, Monday morning can't come quick enough.

He's usually pretty good at playing it cool, but this one was too much for him to contain. Armed with the kit list on Saturday afternoon, the hints of packing prep were coming. Just checking certain shirts were in the drawer, sorting out an empty backpack to take for the day trips, trip to the shops for a new pair of trainers, making sure no washing was due to be done so the all important trendy stuff was clean and ready. Check, check, check.

By 5pm the desire to pack was getting too much. Could Dad just get the suitcase down now? Assured the suitcase would come down in good time, excitement then turned to attitude with huffy puffy blows of 'fine', grunting up from somewhere inside his body. The chimpanzee arms swinging by his side and the hunch of his back as the realisation that still at least another day was in waiting before departure.

By 7pm we relented. A very excited boy busy packing his case, checking off his list and counting his Euros.

Then the tummy problems started. 'Mummmm, I've got stomach ache'. 'It's because you're excited, it's perfectly normal, don't worry'. 'I'm NOT excited, babies get excited'. 'You're 10, going abroad for the first time with all your friends, trust me Joshua, you ARE excited and it's OK to be'. 'Oh, alright then.'

Saturday night, skulking off to bed - far too wound up to sleep. How on earth was I going to get him through two nights?! Sunday morning unable to contain himself, the decision to abandon rugby training was taken as his mind would not be on the game. The last thing I needed was the air ambulance arriving due to his lack of concentration, making him the 3rd player to be escorted off the field like this. Taking no chances, he asked to come to church with us instead - big result - YAY for that!!

Lunchtime - not hungry. Not excited apparently, just 'not hungry'. What to do with him in the afternoon? I know, we'll all go swimming - that will take his mind off it. Dinner time - FINALLY, he eats.

Bedtime - surprisingly he settled quite early. But three trips to the bathroom last night, an early wake, fully dressed and not interested in breakfast, shoes on by 7.30am, we set off with case in tow, wallet stuffed with various coins and notes, EHIC card ready, rice milk in a bag and off to school.

28 very excited 10 and 11 year olds departed at 8.30 this morning. It's a great bunch of kids going and he's going to have the time of his life. I'll see just how much when he gets back and develops the three disposable cameras he's taken.

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Moving On Up

Joshua's tour of possible secondary school choices ended last night and finally he's made his selection and order of preference. Now all I have to do is fill in the forms and send them off.

It's been interesting watching him throughout his deliberations. Seeing him form opinions before he's even seen some schools, reasoning that certain schools are worth a visit for this reason, why this school seems good for that reason and why some schools are just a plain no-go in the first place.

Having been encouraged by his form teacher to sit the local grammar school exam, Joshua's first reaction was to completely balk at the idea and protest because everybody would think he was a geek if he went there. Until that is, he found out that three other boys in his year group at school were also being persuaded by their parents to sit the exam. All these boys being non-geeks in Joshua's opinion.

So, the visit to the school was arranged, with Joshua moaning fervently in the back of the car that the children would all be Tefal headed, goofy teethed mad professor types with middle partings and how his future as a normal kid was doomed. He wanted a school where he could hang out with his friends, come home on his bike and do just enough homework to get some good grades at GCSE. He has no intention of university because apparently nowhere offers a BA Chef's degree!

But the view was to be quashed when moving around the school he met and spoke to schoolmasters and current pupils who explained things to him, who engaged him in conversation, invited him to take part in experiments and went through puzzles with him. His utter joy at seeing the football posts relegated to the side of the field to see the older boys playing the only game worthy of a ball - his beloved rugby!

His assessment at the end - school choice number one - both because the criteria for entering grammar school is based on it being first choice on the council application and because, 'Actually, it looks really good Mum, and they don't all walk around with jam jar glasses holding their fingers in the air shouting Eureka!'

School choice number two has turned out to be the local catchment comprehensive. I am not qualified to comment as his father viewed this one with him, but having heard back from both of them that it is indeed pretty impressive, with an outstanding Ofsted, I have to back down from my original opinion of it being a cattle market due to the sheer volume of pupils on the roll. It has a proven record - I can't argue with that.

Number three is another local comprehensive that specialises in Computing and Maths, one which Joshua spent a maths day at earlier this year and thoroughly enjoyed.

It's difficult knowing whether the choices we make for him are right. But I hang my head in shame knowing that his deliberations at the age of 10 were far more mature than mine at that age. I had a choice of the local comprehensive mixed school or the single sex one nearby. My sole reason for going to the mixed was because I didn't like the fact the headteacher at the girls school was so strict and the uniforms were ugly.