Thursday, 5 March 2009


Even the thought of the hairy little suckers sets the hair on my arms erect. I hate them with a passion. They freak me out. BIG TIME. Just seeing one of those things in my house sets my palms sweaty, I stop dead in my tracks and usually panic.

Up until now I've never had to deal with them. Until last night.

Sat boldly on my kitchen floor was one about the size of a milk bottle top. To me that's huge. That's the difference between being a bit wary and totally freaked out. This was freak out proportion. Big, fat hairy and in possession of all his eight legs.

But not for long. After evacuating the area of children and children's friends over for tea, I found the shoe and with one might swat spidey became splatty. The little fiend had enough of a body to spread between my shoe and the floor. Then there was the equally gross job of mopping him up. Serves him right for coming in my kitchen uninvited.

I've often wondered what their purpose is. At work I was reassured they're good because they catch flies. That argument holds no weight for me as I have a can of Raid under the sink. Therefore no need for spiders. But then apparently, spiders are more environmentally friendly. Again, no weight to that, as me hyperventilating when the spider is present depletes the planet of much needed oxygen.

Then there's the theory I was offered last night that they're less calorific than a tic-tac but have more protein!! Who thinks of these things? What wierdo worked that out? Who tested it?

And spiders have eight legs.


I'm a working mother and I've only been given two arms - where's the justice in that?


Michelle said...

I shudder if i even seen them on TV. I have a few stories about me and spiders, but the best one has to be when i was pregnant with Katie and we were living in the flat. Neil had gone out for the evening and i was sitting watching tv and all of a sudden this huge spider crawled across the room, i immediately put my legs up on the sofa and was frozen to the spot and there i stayed until Neil got home to search for it!!

Karen said...

I'm really irrational with them. If you don't catch 'em downstairs, they crawl up your staircase and come in the bedroom. And, they always come in pairs. I also had a smaller one in front of the sink last night, but he was manageable. He must have been Spidey's little brother! He still got squished though lol !!

margaret (the misanthrope) said...

Hee! My sister was terrified of bugs and spiders as a kid, so I was the one who always had to "kill [or otherwise remove] the bug". I have my own list of things that terrify me, so I didn't mind taking care of that for her.

I hear ya about the 8 arms/legs! However, I think that unless I had an additional brain or two to govern the extra limbs, I'd just be flailing uselessly. (I tend to be a klutz and sometimes have trouble keeping 2 arms under control...add 6 more and it wouldn't be pretty. Plus, all those extra nails to file! However...more excuses for manicures! I see the appeal of this idea!)

Michelle said...

Flippin heck......i'm coming round to your spider infested house tonight, lol. Am hoping that Spidey and his little brother do not have any other family members or friends!