Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Cracks in the ceiling and my sanity.

You'd think something minor like a bathroom leak coming through your lounge ceiling would be a doddle to repair. Nothing to it. Just assess the damage, give the insurance a call, claw back what you've paid in, get it re-plastered and zippa dee doo da - new ceiling. You'd think?

Oh how wrong!!! How utterly, butterly WRONG!!!

Abridged synopsis - otherwise this could get long.

Ring insurance 8 WEEKS AGO!!! They take a further two weeks to send Mr Assessor No.1 out and that's even after you've done your duty of providing them with pictures of the damage. But do they believe you? Oh no, just in case you may have photographed the wrong ceiling or portrayed the wrong damage, they have to send somebody round the house to check. Anytime between 8am and 1pm. Can we be available? Err no, we work. Can you come on Saturday? Err no, they don't do Saturdays.


Fast forward after agreeing to surrender flexi. After much hmmmming and aaahhhing and clip file scribbling, Mr Assessor No.1 does indeed agree that yes, the ceiling is damaged. Be stunned into silence by the incredulous statement of the obvious. But soften slightly as the claim is approved.

Then, joy of joys, the carpet also gets assessed, OK'd for damage and agreed to be put through on the same claim - lovely lovely lovely!!! Things are looking up. We love Mr Assessor No.1.

Then they look down again.

Mr Assessor No.1 can't measure properly and doesn't allow enough carpet to go through the lounge, hallway, up the stairs and on the landing, so mandate that arrives is financially too low. We don't love Mr Assessor No.1 anymore. Enter Mr Professional Carpet Salesman on another morning off work to measure properly and submit bill to insurance company. Wait further fortnight for amended mandate.

Back to the ceiling. Get quotes in from plasterers and builders, get fed up with waiting for quotes, call in insurance builders. Insurance eventually send Mr Builder No.1 round. Cost has now increased by eight times as asbestos is suspected. So, Mr Assessor No. 2 is due, and Mr Builder No. 2 is coming to quote.

I may have to have the entire ceiling taken down. Methinks insurance quote may do more than increase eight times, because this lady isn't staying in the house with four children if asbestos is suspected. Mr Builder No. 2 is due tomorrow at 8.30 to verify if asbestos is present and then Thursday Mr Insurance Assessor No.2 is costing AGAIN if it is.

I shudder to think what would happen if a tornado hit.

1 comment:

margaret (the misanthrope) said...

Oh my gosh...I thought it was only here in the US that people have to contend with impossible bureaucracies in order to get even the simplest things done. I hope everything's OK and that you have a newly repaired ceiling!

That was a hilarious description of Mr. Assessor #1's humming, hawing and eventual conclusion that the ceiling was damaged...oh my gosh!